[ yearning, poetic indie rock ]

born to yearn, write love letters, be courted, and wait for someone despite any obstacle of time, space, & hardship. cursed to traverse the age of hinge, situationships, and dating for convenience or instant gratification </3

last year, i went on a few dates with someone. in casual conversation, i asked him if he would ever be in a long distance relationship. he said no, because there’s so many people in new york— he could just find someone else. someone more convenient, i guess.

and that appalled me.

because it’s the total opposite of my mindset.

dating was never supposed to be this way!!!! with dating apps and social media, we have access to so many people and i think it’s rotting our brains. i feel like many, specifically men (or the ones i’ve met), have adopted this abundance mindset where there are just so many fish in the sea. there could always be someone better, or new, or similar, or easier, or different to try out.

and it’s true. when you have the whole internet at your fingertips, with girls all over the world, and hashtags or search engines to filter them out… of course you could find 100 people who look like me, or listen to the same music as me, or wear similar clothes as me. so, if i get to be too much, or our situation gets to be too complicated, sure, you could go online and probably find someone with some of the same facets as me.

but that’s just not how i work. for me… it’s a choice. you could have +70 attractiveness and +80 humor and +60 music taste and yeah sure there could be someone out there with +90 in all categories but i didn’t meet them, i met you. and i fell in love with you. i chose you. and i’ll choose you every day over other “possibilities” out there. to me, that’s what it means to like/love someone. choosing someone every day, no matter their flaws, or how complicated life gets, or the distance between you.

but this is just a small piece of mind from a (REAL lover) girl who loves romance novels and pride & prejudice (2005) and dramione fanfics.

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anyways, i created this playlist to capture the feelings of yearning and when you want to be with someone but they don’t want to be with you. would it be so horrible to have the sweetest, funniest, hottest, coolest girl in the world choose you and love you unconditionally? i guess so, damn.

i could take care of you [playlist]